Okay. So welcome to blog number two in the series. I thought like I’d mix it up a little bit. I’ll use some written blogs and video ones as well.
Just to keep it interesting. So, in the last blog I focused on why I’ve become so interested in the Not Good enough Core Theme. In this blog I really wanted to focus in on the goals of True Self.
It’s basically two main areas that we’re focusing on as far as the goal are concerned. And one is to establish what I call perpetual growth and the other is to really foster a deep connection to oneself. So today I wanted to focus on perpetual growth because that’s the main goal here. And then I’ll explore the other goal, in the next blog. So Firstly, I just wanted to talk a little bit about change and goal itself because in my observation there’s a lot of I’m confusion out there about what’s a useful goal to focus on and what the change process actually is!
Change in my view is growth. Unless there is some type of growth in you as an individual to your intellect, your insights, your thoughts, your feelings, your behaviours, your body, you haven’t really changed in my view. Like you might have used some willpower or you’ve been able to make some minor shifts, but they’re superficial because they won’t last. Unless there is some growth and some integration of that, it won’t actually last.
So that’s one of the core principles in the True Self approach, everything we focus on is organized and geared around trying to foster growth. Now let’s have a quick talk about goals as well. And look, I will be doing a whole blog series on change and goals as well because as I said, there’s so much confusion out there about that. But right now I’ll just do the basics. Okay, so goals.
I don’t want this to sound arrogant, rigid, or judgmental in any way, but it actually comes from 30 years of observation with real clients. In day to day life, the majority of people come to therapy with goals that actually won’t help them in the long run. They’re focusing on the wrong areas and that makes some sense because their using the mindset and the skills that they already have and that’s the mindset and the skills that have led them to the issues in the first place. I’m not judging this in any way. It’s more a recognition of what I see in my work.
So we really need to refine this idea of goals and how we can use them. So two ways of understanding what goals is there’s goals that focus on content and goals that focus on the process as well.
Content goals would be I want to lose five kilos in five weeks, the process goal would be I want to eat more slowly, mindfully. Does that make sense? So most of us are too focused on content goals. So we’re too focused on that and not enough on the process or goals.
Process goals require us to trust the process, a little more and sit with the discomfort of the process as well. So that’s why I think process goals are less emphasized in this sort of work.
Okay, so how does that apply to what we do at True Self. So let’s go back to the main goal.
Perpetual growth, in my view, is a person’s capacity to grow and learn from life experience. And that’s really important because a lot of the time I’ve seen in my clients that they’re just using the same old skills and strategies, knowledge, and they’re not really evolving from life experience, and so they’re having the same results. So, what we’re shooting for in the True Self method, is to foster capacity through the process or goals to establish the skills to have this perpetual growth in your life so you can grow and learn and evolve through life experience.
For example, life will throw something at you and you don’t know how to cope with it, and you just get the same results or our life throws us something at you. When you have Perpetual Growth established in your life you are able to experience, integrate and grow, and then you evolve and learn from these life experiences. And so that’s what we want. I actually think it’s the meaning of life to grow and learn and evolve through life experience.
So, if you’re finding you’re stuck and you’re repeating the same old mistakes and you’re not able to grow, learn and evolve, you don’t have this established, in your life. And I believe through offering this and learning to build Perpetual Growth into your life, it’s going to have a huge effect on things.
Going back to content or goals. The content goal is to establish perpetual growth in your life. The process goals are what we mainly focus on in the True Self programs and the one on one coaching as well. Establishing the things thay foster this in your life, the skills, the knowledge, experience, establishing the things I’ve learned through 30 years of seeing clients to help you to establish this goal in your life.
Okay I hope that it makes some sense. As I was explaining earlier, I’ll be expanding on this in the next blog as well. I’ll focus on the other goal of our methodology to establish that deep connection to yourself (what I call Connect / Listen / Follow) and then at some stage I’ll be doing some blogs on the change process and goals as well. I’ll speak to you soon.